NBC's Guinness World Records Show

Sunday night, in yet another sad reminder that the writers' strike is ongoing, NBC aired a Guinness Worlds Records Top 100 show, culminating in a disarmingly anticlimactic motorcycle ride through a "tunnel of fire". With images just as horrifying as the ones in the old book you would rifle through in the school library, the show featured clips of various random world records being broken - from the obvious World's Tallest and Smallest Man to the more obscure Most Bubbles Blown by a Man with a Tarantula in His Mouth. I have to admit that while I do have some basic human fascination with world records, I find myself more horrified by them than anything else. More often than not, they're either boring or gross or really just kinda sad. I can't even watch the screen when the longest finger and toenail people are up there. Nothing gets me quite like that.

Hosted by "UK sensation" Fearne Cotton (I guess she hosts "Top of the Pops" and is sort of a British Ryan Seacrest), the show would switch from 20 second segments showing each record, to "live" footage of Fearne in front of the tunnel of fire. She would occasionally be interviewing the motorcycle dude or members of his crew, who were getting increasingly concerned about how the drizzle and wind would affect the stunt. All of this seemed to be taking place on a studio set of a city street, complete with abandoned storefronts. In an even more bizarre twist, at one point Fearne went over to the five spectators watching from the taped-off sidewalk, and interviewed Alison Sweeney (Days of Our Lives star and current host of The Biggest Loser) and Justice from the new American Gladiators. They were asked to give the motorcycle guy some advice. I imagine this related to some sort of "appearance fulfillment" clause in their contracts, but I like to imagine that this pairing was wholly by choice: "Justice! It's the Sweene - what are you up to?" "Nada. Sewing up my jousting rod, major fabric tear. Why?" "I don't know. That tunnel of fire guy is gonna give it a go again - you in?" "You bring the Vanilla Chai?" "Justice will be served!" "I'm hanging up. I lost the thread."

Finally, when they reached the Number 1 record, it was time for the motorcycle guy to get ready. Which is another weird thing - the Top 100 seemed to be in actually no discernible order at all. It certainly wasn't in order of most challenging, or most bizarre, or even most exciting. The motorcycle ride was Number 1, for God's sake, while the Deepest Scuba Dive by Dog was stuck at 84! And the kid who kicked himself 70-something times in the head in 1 minute was like 20 positions ahead of the Most Bras Unhooked in 1 Minute! Where is the Justice? Anyway, it all ended with the sadly anticlimactic ride (which he made), and then a stilted interview with the dazed and lubed-up stunt dude, in which Fearne yanked the microphone away from him in mid-answer since the credits were about to roll and he took so long taking off his damn helmet. So sad. 2 hours of standing around with an American Gladiator for that? I'm sure that's what the son of a production assistant was saying.

BaeRating: C-